Category: Uncategorized
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San Jose Rose Garden
By Rachel Puryear Looking for a beautiful, romantic walk in a park? Love bright, colorful garden displays? After months of unusually cool weather for early Spring in the Bay Area, the San Jose Rose Garden is finally in full bloom. Stop by here and literally, as well as figuratively, smell the roses! Arches at the…
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Near Death Experiences: A Peek Into a Mysterious Phenomenon
By Rachel Puryear For most of us who have lived for a while, we’ve either narrowly escaped death at some point in our lives, or we know someone else who has. Surviving a close call is pretty unnerving, and often naturally comes with a lot of recovery ahead. Many people shift their perspectives on life…
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Exploring Five Conflict Styles – Which Ones Are Yours?
By Rachel Puryear In life, conflict is an inevitable part of human relations. However, that doesn’t mean it has to be inherently destructive – or that we cannot pretty often resolve it with some mutual effort, and a willingness to do so constructively. Improving one’s conflict resolution skills is a worthy goal for anyone, and…
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On Loving a Highly Empathic Person
By Rachel Puryear If you’re in a relationship with a highly empathic person, consider yourself very lucky. These folks, making up around 20% of the population, come equally in all genders, and from all walks of life (a similar proportion of many other animal species also have a corresponding trait like this). They also love…
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Let’s Talk Dirty – Mud Baths in Calistoga
By Rachel Puryear In the Napa Valley region of California – an area world famous for its natural beauty, wineries and food, and arts and culture – there’s an adorable little town called Calistoga. In Calistoga, you can do something that most people don’t do every day – that is, lay in a tub filled…
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Is there a Difference Between Spirituality and Superstition?
By Rachel Puryear Sometimes, critics of spirituality denounce spiritual practices as simply being a variation of the same old superstitions that gave rise to more established religions, including fundamentalism and overly powerful religious institutions. However, I would argue that there’s actually a pretty profound difference between the kind of superstition you find in religious fundamentalism…
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Are Empathic/HSP People “Made” by Certain Childhoods?
By Rachel Puryear One popular debate around highly empathic/HSP people; is whether we are born the way we are, with our traits being in our nature; or whether we are instead made, with our traits being primarily the product of nurture – and that if it’s the latter, then what kind of childhood makes for…
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Hiking in Colma’s Cemeteries
By Rachel Puryear There’s a little town tucked into the San Francisco Bay Area’s Peninsula region. The neighbors are…quiet. You could say lots of people are…dying to get in. And despite the…grave surroundings, it’s actually a pretty pleasant place to live…if you are among it’s living, that is. If you count the town’s deceased population,…
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What is Emotional Labor, and Why Does it Matter?
By Rachel Puryear We all have a pretty good sense of what it means to perform physical labor. We perform physical labor in workplaces – that might include, depending upon your occupation; building houses, serving food, or shuffling lots of paper; as examples. At home and in everyday life; physical labor could include cleaning house,…
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Empathic Folks in the Bedroom ;)
By Rachel Puryear One of the best kept secrets about highly empathic/HSP people is also one of the most intimate aspects of our lives. I think it’s time we celebrate our sexuality. Despite tendencies to be mild-mannered and quiet in most social settings, empathic/HSP people can be quite passionate, free-spirited, as well as uncommonly attuned…
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Monterey Road Trip: Awesome Beaches, Abundant Wildlife
By Rachel Puryear If you love beaches, gorgeous coastlines, and diverse sea wildlife; Monterey, California (and many of its surrounding areas) make for a great road trip. Here’s a recap of my own recent road trip down the coast (from the San Francisco Bay Area) to Monterey: Año Nuevo State Park is along the California…
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Spiritual Bypassing: The Many Ways We Do It
By Rachel Puryear In developing a spiritual practice for oneself, it’s important to be aware of spiritual bypassing – both what it is, and also how it can be damaging. So first of all, what is spiritual bypassing? Spiritual bypassing is defined as “a tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid…
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Things You Don’t Need to Apologize For
By Rachel Puryear In life, a very important social skill is the ability to acknowledge when one is wrong – as well as apologizing, and making proper amends, where appropriate. This life skill is key to maintaining – and sometimes, to saving – important relationships. At the same time, there are also things in life…
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Great Places to Meet Empathic Friends and Lovers
By Rachel Puryear No matter how introverted you may be, and love your time to yourself, empathic people still need friends – and romance – just as much as anyone else. That includes having some fellow empathic friends. Don’t get me wrong, we all need variety in our friendships, too – but empathic friends understand…
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Edgewood Park and Preserve in San Carlos, CA
By Rachel Puryear Nestled in the south Peninsula region of the San Francisco Bay Area, is one of the region’s best kept secrets: Edgewood Park and Preserve. If you’re in the area and haven’t hiked this one yet, then you’re in for a treat. This region offers temperate weather, and proximity to plenty of amenities.…
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Highly Intelligent and Empathic People, and Self-Doubt
By Rachel Puryear Mathematician Bertrand Russell is quoted as saying that “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people are so full of doubts.” That quote resonates with me a great deal, and I believe it largely true. So the question it raises…
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That Spooky Gut Feeling That Mysteriously Helps
By Rachel Puryear Have you ever had a weird gut feeling around a person or in a situation for unknown reasons, and then it turned out to be spot-on? Most of us have either had such an experience, or know someone else who has. In some cases, people even credit such an occurrence with saving…
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Signs Someone Truly Cares for You
By Rachel Puryear We all love to hear that someone cares about us. But what’s even more important than loved ones telling us how much they care, is them showing that they do through their actions – even if they don’t always say how they feel. Furthermore, there are nefarious types of people out there…
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Mojave Desert Beauties, Part 2: Joshua Tree National Park
By Rachel Puryear The Mojave Desert in Southern California is a harsh place to live – but boy, does it have some amazing beauty that makes it well worth the visit. Here are gorgeous places to check out within the park. Be sure to also see the previous post on Death Valley National Park, which…
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Spiritual, But Not Religious – What Does That Mean, Anyway?
By Rachel Puryear People are increasingly identifying themselves as not being religious. Often, those who do so categorize themselves as either atheist, agnostic, or spiritual-but-not-religious. This post focuses on the latter self-designation – spiritual, but not religious. Of course, that means different things to different people, and no one can speak for all who identify…
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Three Gorgeous, Wooded Parks in Oakland, California
By Rachel Puryear Most people familiar with the San Francisco Bay Area don’t exactly associate the city of Oakland with having lots of forests and wildlife – in fact, its reputation is pretty heavily urban. However, this city nonetheless has plenty of awesome, woodsy spots to get away from it all. Here are just three…
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Redemption is Possible. It Also Requires Work, and Paying Dues.
By Rachel Puryear Recently, in a Georgia election, we saw a reasonable candidate – thankfully – defeat a very toxic and hateful one. The hateful candidate had lived a documented life of perpetrating domestic violence, assault with deadly weapons, terrorizing his partner and children, and being an all-around hypocrite regarding his extreme views. This post…
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Grand Teton National Park
By Rachel Puryear If you’re visiting Yellowstone National Park – which I highly recommend, by the way – make some time to also stop by the neighboring Grand Teton National Park, too, minutes away from Yellowstone. Grand Teton may be less well known that Yellowstone, but that doesn’t mean it deserves to be overlooked –…
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Haunted by a Ghost: When Someone Disappears, Then Later Resurfaces
By Rachel Puryear On this blog, I’ve made no secret what I think about people who intentionally ghost someone – that is, they disappear on you suddenly and without warning, often for no apparent reason. Sometimes, ghosting follows an intensive love bombing campaign, only for them to go “poof” when they got what they want…
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Yellowstone National Park
By Rachel Puryear The United States’ first-ever National Park, Yellowstone is a must-see for any parks and nature enthusiast. Here’s what you won’t want to miss when you go there: Grand Prismatic Spring You’ve no doubt seen the arresting photos capturing this vividly multicolored hot spring. Of course, as is usually the case with such…
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Half Moon Bay’s Four Miles of State Beaches
By Rachel Puryear The San Mateo area – located about halfway between San Francisco and San Jose, also known colloquially as “the Peninsula” – is known as a bustling, densely populated region with a strong local economy and plentiful amenities. In many ways, it’s a smaller urban center that rivals the more famous cities it’s…
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Listening Goes a Lot Further Than “Relatable” Stories for a Loved One in Distress
By Rachel Puryear For people with a solid sense of social skills, the urge to reciprocate shared stories and experiences feels quite natural during conversations. Someone shares something about themselves with you, so you also share something about yourself with them. It’s an important part of building bonds with other people. So, when someone shares…
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Seal Point Park in San Mateo, CA
By Rachel Puryear If you love the San Francisco Bay Trail, Seal Point Park in San Mateo is a lovely part of that, which offers sweeping views around the Bay Area. You can walk a paved trail around the Bay. You can climb a hill that offers a panoramic view up at the top. You…
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Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Parks
By Rachel Puryear Nestled in the southern part of California’s Sierra mountain range, a couple hours away from Fresno; is a pair of two national parks, right next to one another – Kings Canyon, and Sequoia National Parks. These twin parks offer mountain vistas, forests with giant trees to stroll and hike through, waterfalls, wildlife…
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Traits, and Disturbing Tendencies of, Highly Judgmental People
By Rachel Puryear We all dread them. The comments, the glares, the attitudes. The drama, the unnecessary screaming. The way they make you feel like you’re never enough, and always doing everything wrong. Yet, none of us can seem to completely avoid them. I’m talking about highly judgmental people. So, what do I mean by…
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Taco Bell on Beautiful Pacifica State Beach
By Rachel Puryear Do you happen to like beaches and tacos? Can you imagine enjoying Taco Bell food, while looking at a stunning State Beach in Pacifica, California? Well, you can. Pacifica’s State Beach is gorgeous and amazing, and also has a paved walkway above it if you prefer that. It also has a Taco…
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Extraterrestrial Highway, Alien-Themed Town Near Las Vegas
By Rachel Puryear What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. However, if you head a couple hours or so north from Sin City, you’ll find a place that has generated plenty of rumors and whispers over the years. I’m talking about Area 51, situated along Nevada’s Extraterrestrial Highway – right next to a little hamlet…
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Breadcrumbing: Ghosting’s Subtle, Sadistic Cousin
By Rachel Puryear Chances are, you’ve heard of “ghosting” – the notoriously childish and cruel way to end relationships (romantic, friendships, familial, and otherwise) by suddenly and inexplicably cutting off all contact with someone. When ghosting happens, the person who’s been ghosted is left to figure things out for themselves, and is denied a proper…
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Mojave Desert Beauties, Part 1: Death Valley National Park
By Rachel Puryear Deep in the Mojave Desert, in the rustic southeastern part of California/southwestern Nevada; is a place famous for its parched, sun-scorched landscape. It’s in one of the hottest, and driest, regions of the world. It’s also incredibly, awesomely, humblingly beautiful and amazing. I’m talking about Death Valley. Now a National Park; its…
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Pinnacles National Park Near SF Bay Area
By Rachel Puryear Live in the San Francisco Bay Area, or visit sometimes? Want to get away to a place that feels away from everything, even when you don’t have a lot of time to travel? Check out the Pinnacles! Situated near Hollister, California, it’s just about an hour and a half from San Jose…
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Help and Hope for People Pleasers
By Rachel Puryear In a recent post entitled Are You a People Pleaser; we discussed the difference between healthy giving and excessive people pleasing – the latter involving letting others take advantage, and not voicing needs; because of a low sense of self-worth and a strong need to win approval of other people. In this…
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Coyote Point Park in San Mateo, CA
By Rachel Puryear One great thing about the San Mateo, California area – located about 15-20 miles south of San Francisco – is its abundance of parks and green spaces. Though it is part of a large metro area, there are still plenty of places to get away from it all, and just enjoy the…
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Are You a People Pleaser?
By Rachel Puryear Sure, you like to make others happy. What decent person doesn’t, at least every now and then? The human species has survived many enormous challenges over the millennia; in large part because of the willingness of many among us to give, to help, and to sometimes put others before themselves. I think…
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Signs You’re Being “Groomed” by an Abuser or Emotional Manipulator
By Rachel Puryear We’ve all done that thing where we’re watching a horror movie, and we see our protagonist on the screen headed straight for the killer – but they don’t know it. We scream in vain at them…”no, don’t go in there!” There’s that awful feeling of dread when you know they’re walking into…
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Armstrong Woods State Park in Sonoma County, CA
By Rachel Puryear If you’re not familiar with the San Francisco Bay Area, it basically refers to nine counties (including the City and County of San Francisco), that make up the metro area. There are a few main regions of the metro area: There’s “the City” (San Francisco), the South Bay (south of San Francisco,…
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False Sense of Victimization is an Essential Component of Bigotry
By Rachel Puryear In previous posts, I have discussed certain types of toxic personalities including crybullies – people who victimize by playing the victim, as well as sneaky emotional manipulation tactics, and toxic jealousy and lack of gratitude. These subjects will now be built upon in discussing one of the most toxic and destructive kinds…
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Visiting Oregon: Parks of Portland, Romantic Coastal Towns
By Rachel Puryear Oregon is a beautiful state, and there’s plenty to see there – especially if you love nature and the outdoors. We recently visited the Portland area, and explored much of this city, especially its parks. In driving to and from Portland, we traveled most of the way along Oregon’s southern coastline. If…
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Yosemite National Park
By Rachel Puryear Yosemite is a gorgeous national park in the Sierra mountain range, and is such an iconic place in California. El Capitan is immediately recognized in photos, and is a favorite of rock climbers worldwide. The many waterfalls give off refreshing mist on a warm day’s hike, as well as stunning sights. Plenty…
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Why is Human Childhood So Hard? A Big Reason is in Our Reproductive Biology
By Rachel Puryear If you get to know people well enough for them to tell you – truthfully – about their early lives, you will notice that a lot of people have hard childhoods. Maybe you had one, too. It’s extremely common for people to have childhood trauma, at least to some degree. You might…
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The Just World Fallacy
By Rachel Puryear Most of us enjoy watching movies and reading stories where good, lovable characters ultimately triumph over evil ones. We want to see them hold the wicked accountable for their actions, and then go on to live well-deserved, happy lives. Part of the appeal of such stories is that in the real world,…
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Peopled Out: Managing Overstimulation for Introverts, Empathic, and Neurodiverse Folks
By Rachel Puryear For those of us who are introverts, empathic/HSP people, and otherwise neurodiverse; we can have a rather complicated relationship with most of our fellow humans. On the one hand, we tend to try to be kind and patient with other people – and we tend to disapprove when others are less courteous…
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For Human Beings, Sex is So Much More Than Just Procreation
By Rachel Puryear With reproductive rights under major attack in the United States, the age-old debate about sex rages on. Most Americans support free reproductive choice, access to contraception, and minding one’s own business about what goes on in other people’s bedrooms – but you wouldn’t know it from many of our policies. One of…
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Q&A: No, Being a Highly Empathic (HSP) Person is Not a “Religion”
By Rachel Puryear For the most part, I simply don’t engage with people who deny that highly empathic (also called HSP) people exist, and that our real-life experiences are genuine. It’s usually not worth engaging with these people. However, recently I encountered someone who claimed that “being an empath is just another religion” – and…
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Emotional Manipulation – Sneaky Tactics of Toxic People
By Rachel Puryear We’ve all heard of toxic people. The widespread interest in this subject is a testament to the collective frustration over how difficult it is to deal with chronically difficult people. We all recognize the more obvious forms of toxic behavior – when people are pushy, mean, degrading, and otherwise openly aggressive in…
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Good Indicators of Intelligence
By Rachel Puryear If there’s one thing highly intelligent, gifted and talented people need, it’s each other. We understand – and accept – one another in ways that others cannot. In large part, we are able to readily identify one another – especially given a chance to meet in a relaxed environment, and build a…
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Q&A: Is Love and Romance Really Easier for “Beautiful” Women?
By Rachel Puryear It’s no secret that women considered conventionally beautiful often draw the envy of people of all genders – particularly when it comes to matters of love and romance. But do they really have any better love lives than everyone else, ultimately? I got a question from someone who is 24 years old,…
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No, Empathic People Aren’t Inherently Broken and Unhappy
By Rachel Puryear There’s a popular conception of empathic/HSP people being sad, melancholy, depressive people; ultimately broken by the cruelty of the world. Even some empathic people – especially those who have had a lot of trauma, and/or have not learned to separate other people’s energy from their own – may believe that there is…
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Helping Abortion Seekers Post-Roe
By Rachel Puryear Well, “post-Roe” is a phrase it deeply pains me to write. This is a gruesome and outrageous step back in civil rights, bodily autonomy, and personal freedom. A key part of a disturbing trend of outsized influence of an extreme, billionaire-funded, rightwing minority clawing back decades of progress. For a small number…
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Constructive Self-Criticism
By Rachel Puryear We’ve all heard of constructive criticism, and how efforts to critique more thoughtfully and compassionately tends to yield better results than more toxic criticism. If you’re an empathic person (likely you are, if you follow this blog), you likely make great efforts to limit your criticism of others to the more constructive…
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Is It Okay to Interrupt Someone Who Regularly Dominates the Conversation?
By Rachel Puryear Since childhood, most of us are taught that it’s very rude to interrupt someone else while they’re talking (though the specifics can vary by culture or social status). This principle becomes ingrained in us as a matter of good manners. It makes sense, since most people don’t like being interrupted while they’re…
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If They’ve Really Changed, They Won’t Demand Forgiveness
By Rachel Puryear This post is to address a question I received, where the asker had a childhood bully who was quite cruel to her, and had publicly humiliated her for several years. The bully was a big factor in the asker becoming deeply depressed and anxious for many years, and the asker’s parents finally…
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Did You Know That Highly Sensitive People Can Also Be High Sensation Seeking?
By Rachel Puryear If you’re familiar with and loved Dr. Elaine’s seminal book The Highly Sensitive Person, then you are likely such a person yourself. (If you’re not familiar with this work, note that the “highly sensitive” trait refers to sensory sensitivity, as well as certain tendencies that come with that; and is not necessarily…
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Recognizing Subtle Dysfunction in Families and Relationships
By Rachel Puryear For most of us, when we think of “dysfunctional families,” certain images come to mind, such as: Physical abuse, including beatings. Drug addiction and alcoholism so severe that one cannot function. Divorce and/or abandonment, or a family member who is absent due to incarceration or institutionalization. Sexual abuse. Witnessing violence between parents,…
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For Happier and Saner Relationships; Love Many, but Rely on Few
By Rachel Puryear We all have those certain people in our lives who we love, and whose company we really enjoy; but who also drive us nuts sometimes. It can be a pretty rocky dynamic. You may wonder why you bother with some people at times; and then at other times, also wonder what you’d…
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Impostor Syndrome: When Gifted and Talented People Believe They’re Not Enough
By Rachel Puryear What do a great many gifted, talented, and accomplished people in the world have in common? Well, for one thing, impostor syndrome. What is impostor syndrome? Impostor syndrome is the notion that one is not really as qualified, talented, knowledgeable, skilled, or good as they’ve led others to believe. People with impostor…
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What Energizes and Uplifts Highly Empathic People?
By Rachel Puryear For people who are highly empathic, introverted, or highly neurosensitive; life can be full of things we find more tiring and draining than most other people do. That doesn’t mean, however, that we were destined to go through life constantly exhausted and depleted. There are plenty of things which energize and uplift…
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Emotional Generosity, Contrasted With Emotional Stinginess
By Rachel Puryear There are many kinds of generosity that we all love to feel from others – including generosity of time, money, and efforts on behalf of people and various causes. We also all hate it when people are stingy with us, with any of those things. However, there’s another kind of generosity that’s…
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Empathic People and Anti-Entitlement
By Rachel Puryear There’s no doubt you’ve heard a lot about entitlement lately – entitled people, entitled children, entitled relatives, entitled whomever, a more entitled society; the list goes on and on. Articles and self-help books and advice abound about how to deal with entitled people, as well as how to avoid raising entitled children…
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Acknowledging Pain and Hardships Does Not Make One a Victim – But Here’s What Does
By Rachel Puryear When someone frequently plays the victim, it can be toxic and destructive – for themselves, as well as for other people around them. We’re all guilty of playing the victim sometimes. Doing so now and then is a part of human nature, as we tend to much more easily see ways in…
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A Life Lesson We Can All Learn from Circus Elephants
By Rachel Puryear Ever been to the circus? If so, watching the animals perform is always an amazing part of the show. You might have also wondered where the circus gets these animals, and how they are trained for performance. There are wildlife rescue organizations around the world who take in orphaned baby animals and…
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Challenging People When They Say, ‘You Couldn’t Possibly Understand…’
By Rachel Puryear Have you ever been in a highly emotionally charged argument with someone, and the other person countered your points with something like…”Well, of course you would see it that way. What could you possibly understand about my situation? You couldn’t possibly understand. You’ve never been there.” If we’re being honest, we’ve probably…
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Signs a Friendship Has Run Its Course
By Rachel Puryear Let’s face it – people often have a romanticized view of platonic friendships, too, in addition to romantic ones. There’s an ideal of friends being besties for life; but in the real world, things often don’t work out that way. There are friendships out there that do last happily and healthily until…
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Understanding the Differences Between Kindness and Love Bombing
By Rachel Puryear We all want to feel loved. It’s human nature. Many of the things we all do but don’t understand why are rooted in our desire to love and to be loved. That’s a good point to always keep in mind. Efforts to love and be loved are nothing to be ashamed of.…
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Crybullies: Bullies Who Victimize by Playing the Victim
By Rachel Puryear When most of us think of bullies, we tend to visualize someone powerful and tough. We imagine a bully getting their way through intimidation, and well-founded threats of harm. We tend to think of male bullies as big and strong, and relying on their ability to beat people up in order to…
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What if We’ve Been Wrong All Along About the So-Called “Midlife Crisis”?
By Rachel Puryear There’s a common cliché in our culture known as the “midlife crisis”. The phenomenon is widely perceived as someone throwing away a good life path for questionable choices – such as, for example; “abruptly” leaving a “successful” career, and at the cost of one’s professional and social reputation – or, some variation…
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Simple Ways to Help the People of Ukraine Now
By Rachel Puryear With war unfolding as Russia invades Ukraine, you may be wondering how you can help. No one can singlehandedly stop the war, but there are several simple things that anyone can do right now to help people in Ukraine who very much need it. Here are good organizations you can contribute to,…
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What it Really Means When Someone is “Spoiled” – It’s Not What Most People Think
By Rachel Puryear One not-very-nice thing we sometimes hear some people say about others is that someone is “spoiled”. It’s a condescending remark. It’s also usually rooted in jealousy and resentment. Most often, that’s all that’s behind it – just sour grapes. Often it’s said by someone who, themselves, doesn’t even recognize their own good…
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Things We Need to Stop Telling Gifted, Talented, Highly Intelligent Children
By Rachel Puryear If you were a highly intelligent, sensitive, and curious child; then chances are, you also had/and still have: An introverted and gentle temperament, a strong innate sense of justice (that many others won’t grasp), and you love (and need) down time to let your mind wander and think. You probably appreciate the…
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Spirituality Has Essential Lessons, But None of Them Are Absolutes
By Rachel Puryear Regardless of your own spiritual inclinations, there are a few general teachings that most people recognize as belonging to a variety of traditions – and some of these values are adopted by many believers and non-believers alike, as wise principles for living a more compassionate and meaningful life. Some of these values…
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What is Emotional Generosity, and Why Does it Matter for Relationships?
By Rachel Puryear We all appreciate it when others are generous with us. There are many kinds of generosity that we appreciate in others – including generosity of time, money, and efforts on behalf of people and various causes. However, there’s another kind of generosity that’s just as critical for healthy relationships and caring for…
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Some Friendships Weren’t Meant to Last for Life – That Doesn’t Mean They Aren’t Still Worthwhile
By Rachel Puryear There’s an old saying: “Some people come into your life for a reason. Others come in for a season. A few last for a lifetime.” There’s a lot of truth to this, whether or not you attach any spiritual significance to it. So, what does it mean, exactly; and how can it…
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A Hospice Doctor Opens Up About End-of-Life Experiences
By Rachel Puryear Death is a part of life. It’s one thing that unites us all. It’s also something people don’t talk about much, considering how impactful, and how universal death and dying are. Having asked many people about the subject of death, I have heard and read many stories from regular people about their…
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Seeing the Good in People Doesn’t Mean You Should Ignore Red Flags
By Rachel Puryear Throughout life, we are encouraged to see the best in other people. Looking at people’s better sides is lauded as reflecting maturity and compassion. And certainly, we all want ourselves to be viewed through a forgiving lens. Indeed, there is maturity and compassion in our efforts to appreciate the good qualities of…
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In Relationships, Hard Truths Are Better Than Broken Promises
By Rachel Puryear In healthy relationships, we all want to make our significant others and good friends and loved ones feel good and be happy with us. Sometimes, though, the need for uncomfortable honesty can be at odds with that. Hence the popularity of white lies, or even partial truths. In a courtroom, there’s a…
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Enlightened Self-Interest: Where You and Others All Win
By Rachel Puryear If you are at all an empathic person, you are familiar with the ongoing dilemma in life of balancing your own needs and interests against the needs and interests of others. You have wondered exactly where the line is between drawing boundaries and being assertive on the one hand, versus being kind…
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The Ugly Truth About People Who Ghost
By Rachel Puryear It’s an awful feeling. Someone you care about is there one moment, and then, *poof*, gone the next. You try to reach out and see what happened, but they don’t call or text back. Hours of waiting turn into days, days turn into weeks, weeks turn into the long run. They just…
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You’ve Accomplished a Lot More Than You Probably Think
By Rachel Puryear Happy New Year, World Class Hugs readers! Wishing you lots of love, connection, positive vibes, and fulfillment for 2022. As a new year rolls around, you may be contemplating resolutions, or whether to make them at all. That’s up to you – do whatever works for you. However, you may feel discouraged…
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This New Years’ Eve, Start January Refreshed, Instead of Hung Over
By Rachel Puryear Happy New Years’ Eve! Tonight, we welcome in 2022. Let it be a prosperous year with love, fun, and purpose. If you want to celebrate the holiday, but the idea of drinking and partying all night does not appeal to you; here’s a suggested alternative way to New Years’ Eve that will…
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Learning the Skill of Lie Detection
By Rachel Puryear Let’s be honest here – none of us can truthfully say that we’ve never lied, nor that no one has ever lied to us. That’s the painful truth. The good news is that most of us don’t lie often, and at least not without a pretty good motivation to do so. There…
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The New Dating Trend that Could Lead to More Compatible Relationships
By Rachel Puryear When it comes to modern dating terminology, we’ve all heard of things like swiping to the right, ghosting after a few dates, and friends with benefits. Each comes with its own connotations. A new dating term emerging is hardballing – that is, laying all your cards on the table up front, telling…
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Relationship Green Flags – Signs You Should Go For It!
By Rachel Puryear We often hear about relationship “red flags” – early, often-subtle behaviors spell likely trouble later on. Certainly, such widespread warnings exist for good reason – to urge people to reexamine a possible toxic relationship, before more serious damage is done. Most people are familiar with, at the very least, the most common…
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A Hospice Nurse Breaks Taboos by Openly Talking About Death
By Rachel Puryear One of the most difficult subjects for people to talk about is death, despite its absolute universality. People are often afraid for their own deaths, as well as the deaths of loved ones. Indeed, the unknown nature of death and dying, as well as the lack of conclusive evidence of an afterlife…
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There’s Nothing Wrong With You, Making Friends in Adulthood is Just Hard. Here’s a Place to Start.
By Rachel Puryear When we think back to childhood, we recall that friendships happened so easily and organically then. We could go to school, or the playground, and make fast friends. Even kids who were shy or different could usually find like-minded kids and make tight, if not large, social circles. By adulthood, though, most…
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Sympathetic Joy: Genuine Happiness for Others
By Rachel Puryear A recent post discussed a key trait of toxic people – the inability of toxic people to be genuinely happy for others, and also constantly resenting others’ good fortune while lacking gratitude for one’s own good fortune. There is a trait which is the opposite of such toxic resentment and jealousy, however;…
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Most Toxic People Share This Trait – and It Arises Out of a Lack of Empathy or Gratitude
By Rachel Puryear Surely, you’ve seen many articles and books before about toxic people. The popularity of this subject is due to the fact that just about everyone has dealt with a toxic person in their lives; and dealing with toxic people is so incredibly challenging, and emotionally draining. Reading about others’ experiences with toxic…
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Empaths Are Not Pushovers. We Fight Differently, Though.
By Rachel Puryear One of the biggest misconceptions about empaths is that we are big pushovers who cannot, and will not, ever put up a fight. That idea is to be believed at one’s peril. We empaths are usually not big on hitting and violence when we are angry and upset. The same goes for…
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Good News – People Probably Like You and Think About You More Than You Realize
By Rachel Puryear You’ve probably worried before about what others think of you, and then had someone reassure you – in a cold comfort sort of a way – that actually, people probably aren’t thinking about you very much at all. After all, they reiterate, it’s not about you! Or so they say. Well, the…
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As the Sun Sets Earlier, Let’s Embrace the Night
By Rachel Puryear As the time shifts back for Fall, and makes obvious the upcoming shorter days of winter, many bemoan the early sunsets. Indeed, the long days and late sunsets of summer do offer lots of outdoor fun, and plenty of daylight by which to view scenery. However, the long nights also offer their…
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Feeling Bad for Someone is No Reason to Let Them Treat You Poorly
By Rachel Puryear If you are an empathetic person who tends to readily help other people in need, you have likely tried to help someone in your life where that recipient was less than appreciative towards your awesome efforts. Indeed, it’s frustrating and demoralizing to make sacrifices to help someone else, only to have that…
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Honoring Ancestors Doesn’t Have to Mean Following in Their Footsteps – In Fact, it Here’s Why the Opposite Can Be True
By Rachel Puryear I hope you enjoyed a Happy Halloween, dear readers, and that you were able to let some fun, fantasy, and imagination into your life this holiday. For those who also observe Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) or any other variation of honoring departed loved ones and ancestors at this…
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What is Friendship Equity?
By Rachel Puryear Following a recent post about Building Better Boundaries With Others Around Money, a reader asked me for more about a term I used in that post, which was “friendship equity”. I’m glad to discuss more about friendship equity here. Most of us are much more familiar with the term “equity” more in…
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Active Listening Versus Hostile Listening
By Rachel Puryear If you have ever explored topics such as personal development, learning relationship skills, mediation, or interpersonal communication exercises; you have likely heard of “active listening” at some point. Active listening is a set of skills designed to help one become a better listener. The ‘active’ part of listening involves focusing on what…
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How Empaths View Wealth Differently Than Most Others Do (Part 5 of a Series)
By Rachel Puryear Welcome to Part 5, the final Part of a Series of 5 on Empaths and Finances! This post will cover how empaths tend to view wealth differently than most other people do. The introductory post to this series gave an overview, and can be reread here. Part 1 of the series, about…
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Ways to a Better Life That Many Empaths Overlook (Part 4 of a Series)
By Rachel Puryear Welcome to Part 4 of a Series of 5 on Empaths and Finances! This post will cover ways to a better life that empaths tend to overlook. The introductory post to this series gave an overview, and can be reread here. Part 1 of the series, about how empaths can shift their…
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Satisfying and Supportive Careers for Empaths (Part 3 of a Series)
By Rachel Puryear Welcome to Part 3 of a series of 5 on Empaths and Finances! This post will cover how empaths can discover and develop career paths which are both personally satisfying, and provide the standard of living we want. The introductory post to this series gave an overview, and can be reread here.…
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Building Better Boundaries With Others Around Money (Part 2 of a Series)
By Rachel Puryear Welcome to Part 2 of a series of 5 on Empaths and Finances! This post will cover how empaths can build better boundaries with others around money. The introductory post gave an overview of this series, and can be read – or reread – here. Part 1 of the series, about how…
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Attracting Abundance Energy: Shifting Your Mindset Around Money (Part 1 of a Series)
By Rachel Puryear Welcome to Part 1 of a series of 5 on Empaths and Finances! This post will cover how empaths can shift their mindset around money to attract abundance and wealth energy, and also heal from attitudes around money that tend to keep us poorer. The introductory post gave an overview of this…
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Easy Ways You Can Help Afghan Refugees Right Now
By Rachel Puryear Dear readers, as empathic people, we naturally like to help others in need. We also believe strongly in personal freedom, and in the principle that people should be empowered to live their lives on their terms. Empaths, despite tending to be low-key and non-confrontational, can be surprisingly fierce and energized in defending…
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Do You Doubt Yourself a Lot? Good News: That Makes You More Credible, and More Likely to Grow
By Rachel Puryear Do you often struggle with self-doubt? Next to someone who is super confident that they are right about everything and never seems to question themselves, do you sometimes feel lesser by comparison? Do you start to secretly wonder if you’ve got it all wrong, and others must understand things much better than…
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Five Reasons Empaths Tend to Struggle With Money – An Introduction to a Series on Empaths and Finances
By Rachel Puryear Let’s discuss a deeply challenging subject for empaths, which we rarely talk about but very much need to. That is anything having to do with money. Empath or not, everyone needs some money. Empaths, however, tend to be less comfortable than most non-empaths about addressing finances. There is no need for us…
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We All Know Introverts Hate Small Talk. Try Big Talk Instead.
By Rachel Puryear Introverts are famous for hating small talk. One big misconception around this, though, is that introverts just don’t like socializing. While it is true that introverts need a certain amount of time to recharge between social events, it is not true at all that we don’t like to talk. The thing is…
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The Power of Acknowledging When Things are Not All Right for Yourself, and Others
By Rachel Puryear In the previous post, we discussed pseudo-positivity; where people avoid expressing anything negative, to an unhealthy degree which inhibits empathizing with oneself and others. As promised in that post; in this post, I will cover overcoming pseudo-positivity, better empathizing with others and with yourself, and yet still honoring genuine positivity. Positive and…
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Is There Such a Thing as Toxic Positivity?
By Rachel Puryear We have all heard of toxic negativity, and are well aware of its draining and depressing effects. No one in their right mind would deny such a thing. Positivity is a wonderful and inspiring trait, which can foster resilience, generally speaking. We all love being around truly positive people, and usually feel…
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In Psychology, “Highly Sensitive People” Refers to Empaths. Here’s Why a Euphemism Was Needed.
By Rachel Puryear If you are an empath, you may have read Dr. Elaine Aron’s seminal book “The Highly Sensitive Person“. If you did read it, you probably related strongly to it. (If you have not read this work, I highly recommend doing so.) This book describes people considered “highly sensitive” (HSP), and assures us…
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There are Different Kinds of Empaths – Which Type(s) are You?
By Rachel Puryear You may have heard of empaths, or even identify yourself as one. But did you know that there are different kinds of empaths? What kind – or kinds – are you? You can be more than one, or even several. In fact, empaths generally share at least a little of all the…
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Givers Enjoy Giving. They Also Hate Being Used as Much as Anyone Else
By Rachel Puryear Givers are known for giving, and they generally do so because it makes them feel good. However, they do not like being taken advantage of, any more than anyone else does. There is a big difference between giving, versus being taken from. Giving is something the giver freely chooses to do, and…
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Embracing Your Shadow: First, Acknowledging it Exists
By Rachel Puryear We all like to see ourselves in the best light possible. Most of us like to believe that we are good people – and purely so. Few of us like to believe ourselves capable of doing or even thinking things that seem wrong or which go against what we believe to be…
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Are Empaths Real? Yes, But They Probably Won’t Tell You So
By Rachel Puryear If you read a lot of blogs with modern spiritual material, you have probably come across at some point debates over whether empaths are real. Perhaps what the debate is really about is, whether or not those who loudly proclaim to be empaths are actually sincere. Many self-proclaimed empaths shout their believed…
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Our Kittens are Settling In Well!
By Rachel Puryear, Cat Mama Kwame and I are proud to say that our three recently adopted kittens, Amy, Leela, and Bender; are all settling into their home now. We are really enjoying them! They bring us lots of joy, fun, snuggles, and purrs every day. ❤ And we are pleased to say that after…
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As the World Opens Again, Spend Time with People who Value what you have to Offer
By Rachel Puryear, Hugging Connoisseur As the world reopens following the pandemic – and an incredibly challenging year – most people are looking forward to socializing (in person) again and rebuilding their connections. This is helping to again lift spirits for many, and is likely improving collective mental health. By all means, this is great…
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We Have New Kittens!! Yay!!
By Rachel Puryear I am very pleased and proud to announce that Kwame and I have recently adopted three new kittens. We got them from Pets in Need, a local animal shelter in Palo Alto, California. This organization is very well run, and seems to take great care of pets being adopted and awaiting adoption.…
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Accepting Help is as Important as Asking For It.
By Rachel Puryear We all know that it’s best to ask for help sometimes. Certainly, this is an important skill that not everyone learns early on in life, but that it is necessary to eventually cultivate. An essential skill to build on top of asking for help, though, is to then accept help. And yes,…
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Visiting Arizona’s Hot Desert Beauty
By Rachel Puryear Kwame and I just returned from visiting several of Arizona’s parks, and natural desert beauty. Enjoy the photos of our trip! Saguaro National Park: Situated just outside of the city of Tuscon, Saguaro National Park features classic desert scenery – with a stunning array of cactus and other desert plants. Some of…
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Afraid You’ll Burden Others by Asking for What You Want? It May Be the Opposite is True.
By Rachel Puryear Most of us, at least sometimes, have some trouble asking others for what we want, and particularly asking for help. Doing so might make us feel like we are being demanding, needy, or burdening others. As a result, we often refrain from asking and hope others will just figure it out –…
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Being a Giver Doesn’t Make You a Pushover – With an Important Caveat
By Rachel Puryear Some people are, and always will be, givers. For those who are, it’s just in our nature. We feel good about ourselves when we make others feel good, loved, and cared for. Givers are a bright light in a world where most other people tend to be takers. Being a giver gets…
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Hugging Safely After the Covid Vaccine.
By Rachel Puryear, Hugging Connoissuer If you’re at all like me, you’ve been wondering when it will be safe to hug others as more covid vaccines have been distributed, and who can hug each other safely. I’ve got you covered! Here’s the scoop, with guidelines from the CDC: First, what does it mean for a…
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Visiting Pinnacles National Park
By Rachel Puryear Kwame and I recently visited Pinnacles National Park, in Paicines, CA (near Hollister). We arrived around 8:30 am, while a gorgeous mist still draped over the park. This also helped avoid some of the bigger crowds that tend to come later in the day, and allowed us to enjoy more of the…
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North Bay Coast Drive
By Rachel Puryear During the holiday weekend, Kwame and I took a drive up to the North Bay, and visited the various towns along the coast. Enjoying the beaches and green mountain landscape was a great way to relax a little, while we all collectively breathe a sigh of relief for new and sane adult…
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Happy New Year! Here’s to Greater Health, Prosperity, and Loving Relationships in 2021
By Rachel Puryear A good friend of mine shared an old Chinese proverb with me this past week: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” I don’t know about you, but I really needed to hear this. And I’m sharing it, in case you needed…
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Hiking at Seal Point, San Mateo Offers a Stunning 360 Degree View of the Bay Area
By Rachel Puryear Kwame and I enjoyed a wonderful hike this weekend at Seal Point, a park in San Mateo along the Bay Trail. If you visit, be sure to go up to the top of the hill (there is a driving path up to the top if you are not able to walk it,…
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When the Pandemic is Over, In-Person AND Zoom Should Be the Norm for Gatherings
By Rachel Puryear This past weekend, my husband Kwame and I orchestrated a Zoomfest Thanksgiving get-together, in consideration of avoiding the possible spread of Covid amongst family members. Of course, we all missed the in-person aspect, but everyone understood the need to socially distance at this time, and it was still great to see folks.…
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Hiking in Redwood Parks, Enjoying Coastal Rainforests
By Rachel Puryear One of mine and my husband Kwame’s greatest motivations for being in better shape, is to facilitate traveling, and visiting places with lots of natural beauty. Last weekend, we hiked through coastal redwood forests up in Redwood National and State Parks (near Eureka and Crescent City, in California). These parks became protected…
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What Happened When a Kentucky Town Hired Social Workers to Work Alongside Police Officers
By Rachel Puryear Following increasingly visible and vocal public anger at police violence, a national debate has arisen over the future of policing – including arguments over whether police departments should have funding reduced, and whether social workers should take over at least some work currently done by police. The town of Alexandria, Kentucky, with…
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Hugging Safely During A Pandemic
By Rachel Puryear Of all the things from the BC era (Before Covid), one of the things I miss the most is hugging friends without any hesitation. The same sentiment is shared by many. Virtual hugs are nice, but they are just not the same. Fortunately, hugging (for real) can be quite safe, even in…
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Fighting Racism When You’re A Quiet, Non-Confrontational Person.
By Rachel Puryear It might seem like in order to effectively fight racism and other social evils, one must be loud, and always unabashed about getting in people’s faces. That shouting down racists (and those who sympathize with racists) is the only useful tool for ridding ourselves of the social plague of racism. Certainly; a…
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Be A Part of History, and Tell Your Pandemic Story
By Rachel Puryear No matter who you are, your life experience is unique. Not one other person has, or ever will, share your particular story. Therefore, you are the only one who can tell yours – and you never know whose life you might change by doing so. Years from now, this pandemic will be…
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Yes, Introverts Are Struggling With Social Distancing, Too.
By Rachel Puryear When shelter-in-place orders first came down, introverts everywhere seemed collectively well-practiced for the task. In a world that we so often find uncomfortably busy, fast, loud, chatty, hectic, and rushed; it seemed we finally had a chance to take a break. Not that we were any less affected by the unfolding tragedy…
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Bra Cups Make Comfy, Easy, Breathable DIY Face Masks. Here’s a Quick Tutorial.
By Rachel Puryear Ladies, you have the makings of easy yet comfortable face masks right in your own lingerie drawer. Bra cups are already shaped similarly to medical masks. They have built-in, adjustable straps – and they are readily available! The cups feel nice and soft against your skin. They are pretty, too. New guidelines…
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Sex and Coronavirus: Answers in Case You Didn't Know Who to Ask
By Rachel Puryear If you are looking for fun indoor activities which will give you good exercise while quarantined – or at least a distraction from urges to snack – you might be wondering how safe sexual activities are right now. Maybe you didn’t know who to ask. The New York City Health Department kindly…
World Class Hugs 