World Class Hugs

By Rachel Puryear

One defining feature of highly sensitive and empathic people, in the minds of the public, is that they are highly emotive and feel deeply. There is good reason for that perception – there’s a lot of truth in it.

However, does that mean that a person who doesn’t seem highly emotive – and maybe even seems unusually calm, or people pleasing, or simply non-reactive; cannot also be a highly sensitive or empathic person?

Actually, it doesn’t mean that – in fact, many highly sensitive people seem difficult to get a rise out of, and don’t readily express themselves, or seem particularly emotive. They may be instead hiding a lot of what’s going on deep down for them, or even dissociating.

In fact, this is quite common for us – not in spite of how deeply we can feel things, but sometimes because of it.

Here’s why:

Dissociation

What is dissociation?

In short, dissociation is where one basically checks out mentally, and disconnects from their own thoughts and feelings. It’s a brilliant way to survive a traumatic situation – either as a single event, or an ongoing situation.

In other aspects of life, however, an ongoing habit of dissociating can create a lot of problems – including ones that the dissociating person might or might not even be aware of.

This can include being (or at least seeming) emotionally unavailable to others (again, often unconsciously), difficulty having deeper conversations, difficulty in social situations, lack of sharing about oneself, or the appearance to others (even if it isn’t really true) that the dissociated person is uninterested in them, is preoccupied, or doesn’t care.

It can also include a lack of awareness, and not living in the present moment much. This can cause one to miss out on a lot in life.

Why Empathic and Highly Sensitive People Might Be Especially Prone to Dissociation

Everyone struggles in life, and that includes empathic and highly sensitive people. However, as we tend to feel things deeply and pick up on subtleties that many others might miss, we can become overwhelmed more quickly than others. We may also be especially prone to depression and anxiety, for things that others might be more oblivious to.

Therefore, dissociation is a coping strategy that many of us learn in life, as a way of dealing with what can get to be too much. Most of the time, we’re probably not even aware that we’re doing it. And yet, it becomes a habit that we don’t realize.

Unlearning to Dissociate

The good news is, that even if you’ve made a habit out of frequently dissociating, you can also unlearn it. Yes, it can be overwhelming to do so. But it can also make you more present for those you love. You can also become aware of more in life, and reap the many benefits of that.

Meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and reality around you. The point is to cultivate more awareness of the present – not to fix it, or analyze it, just awareness.

For many, a spiritual practice can help. This doesn’t have to be an organized religion – but if it is, be sure to choose a sect and congregation that’s welcoming, positive, accepting, and non-judgmental. Or, you can develop your own spiritual path.

For some, professional help might be needed. If so, there’s no shame in that.

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Check out my other blog, too – Free Range Life, at https://freerangelife.net. It’s about road trips to the outdoors, traveling while fat, wealth and economic philosophy, remote/passive income streams, and van/RV life.

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