By Rachel Puryear
Welcome to Part 1 of a series of 5 on Empaths and Finances! This post will cover how empaths can shift their mindset around money to attract abundance and wealth energy, and also heal from attitudes around money that tend to keep us poorer. The introductory post gave an overview of this series, and can be read – or reread – here.
Many empaths struggle with money during much of their lifetimes. One reason for this is that whereas most other people must be careful to avoid problems with entitlement and greed around money; empaths often struggle with being overly and indiscriminately generous with money. We tend to give too much to the wrong types of people, out of guilt and sympathy. We can be prone to letting moochers take advantage of us, instead of being more assertive.
Note: When I refer to “moochers” I’m not talking about occasionally helping out someone with legitimate need, who also reciprocates help and generosity. Everyone genuinely needs help at times. The key difference is that moochers, however, constantly manipulate people and push their emotional buttons to drain money and resources. Moochers feel entitled to take from others without giving, and do not reciprocate.
Allowing others to drain money from us and not provide adequate value in return is not only inherently impoverishing, but it also blocks abundance energy from us. The good news is that by shifting our mindset to be more self-protective, and practicing assertiveness; we can heal from destructive habits, and also attract more abundance into our lives.
Remember – no matter what your circumstances are, you can never afford to give to moochers, or keep doing any favors for people who don’t care about or respect you.
Questioning Internalized Attitudes to Increase Emotional Awareness:
The first step to shifting your mindset around money and attracting abundance is to reflect on attitudes you have learned throughout your life. Think back to how your family, as well as other around you, viewed money while you were growing up.
- Growing up, were people around you comfortable talking about finances? Or was it a taboo subject? Or, maybe some of both?
- Were you poor, wealthy, or in between?
- Were you taught that money is achievable by most people through hard work and skill, or were you taught that good fortune is only for a lucky few born into the right families, or a combination of both?
- Were others around you greedy and entitled around money, or were they generous and giving, or some of both?
- Did people around you view having money as something to feel proud of, something to admire, something to be embarrassed about, something sinful, important, not important, or a combination of the above?
- Did people around you view poverty as something shameful, as deserving of compassion, as meriting assistance, as something to look down upon, or a combination of the above?
- Did people around you tend to spend all their money, or did they make a point of saving some, of some of both?
- Did people around you believe that successful people should give some of their money to lower-earning relatives, or that successful people should feel free to keep or share their money as they choose, or did it depend upon the situation?
Write down various attitudes around finances that have influenced you throughout your life – in childhood, in adulthood, and now. Read through what you have written.
How much of what you see has influenced your current attitudes about finances? Notice what feelings come up as you do this.
There is no right or wrong way to feel about it – the important thing is to notice and acknowledge what feels genuine to you around money. This increases your emotional awareness, and diminishes the power that previously learned negative attitudes still have on you.
Cultivating Assertiveness Through Increased Emotional Awareness:
Increasing your emotional awareness will naturally increase your level of assertiveness, as well. Being assertive will still take some time and practice, but the effort is well worth it. Here are some tips:
- Remember that it is more than okay to take care of yourself – in fact, it’s good. Remember the flight attendants’ spiel about putting on your own oxygen mask first!
- If you want to use your money to help others after you pay your own bills and save enough for later, that is great. However, be discerning in your generosity. Don’t fall for guilt trips from people who you know don’t care about you – or their claims like “you owe me because you are better off than me”, or “I would do it for you (when they would not)”, or “you are greedy/selfish/spoiled if you don’t do this”. If their claims were true, they would not be trying to manipulate money out of you. Trust your gut instead.
- If you give to others, direct your generosity to people and organizations who themselves have a spirit of giving and reciprocity. This draws abundance energy towards you. Meanwhile, giving anything of value to takers and moochers pushes abundance energy away from you.
- “No!” is a complete answer. Tell yourself that again and again. If you don’t believe it yet, then keep repeating it to yourself.
- Determine your personal boundaries. Cultivating greater emotional awareness will help you realize what your boundaries are. What are you willing to put up with from other people, and what are you not willing to put up with? What have people done in the past that was unacceptable to you? What has been acceptable? What must you have from other people to have any kind of relationship with them? What are you willing to give to other people to have a relationship with them?
- Remember that developing assertiveness takes practice, determination, courage, and a willingness to try. The good news is, you already have all of those – although you are likely modest about it. You can do this.
Building Abundance-Attracting Energy:
There are people who, if you help them, are always grateful to you and look for ways to pay it back and/or forward (as appropriate). Helping and giving to these people in ways that you can afford (it can be through money, time, emotional support and energy, and whatever other currencies might help) attracts abundance energy towards you. These people will find ways to not only proactively give back to you and help you when you need it, but to give you back even more. These people naturally make for a better world. Always help these people, in any ways that you can. Doing so will draw all kinds of good things to you, and on so many levels.
There are also people who, if you help them, try to get even more out of you and are unkind if they do not get their way. These people are like black holes, nothing will ever be enough for them, and they will suck you dry if you let them. They will never be satisfied. They will never pay anything back or forward (unless they are forced to or want to trick you). Giving in to these people also blocks abundance and wealth energy from you. If you ask for anything in return, they balk. Run from these people.
Learn the difference between these distinct kinds of people, identify them, and act accordingly.
Thank you, dear readers, for reading, following, and sharing. Here’s to greater abundance energy to you, and finding ways to help your fellow givers.
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