By Rachel Puryear
When it comes to getting to know each other in developing relationships and friendships; it takes time and effort to build closeness, and establish a bond. However, you can make that timeline move faster if you ask each other the right kind of questions.
Small talk is largely gap-filler that’s used to break the ice, and pass the time while you’re chatting with people in social situations. But when you’re really interested in someone, the really juicy questions can take things a lot deeper – and maybe even unlock interest where one or both of you didn’t realize that it was there.
So, what kinds of big things should you talk about, to get closer to each other? Well, the possibilities are vast – but here are a few good places to start:
Your Biggest Hopes and Dreams in Life
To better connect with one another, it’s important to understand what drives and inspires each other – and yourselves. This will also give you a chance to see where your lives align, how you can support each other, and what you have in common that’s the most important to both of you.
Share your biggest hopes and dreams with each other, and what you want the most out of life. This will help you both show each other who you truly are.
Your Biggest Fears and Disappointments
While it’s essential to think about what drives and inspires us; in order to really know one another, it’s also necessary to share the stuff that you would normally keep more hidden from the rest of the world.
The less proud and even painful moments of your life don’t define you, but at the same time they do shape who you are, and your worldview.
Sharing this with one another will help build closer bonds, help you better understand one another, and build mutual trust.
Key Lessons You’ve Learned – Or Are Still Working On – In Life
As we go through life, we all learn some lessons – some the hard way, but some less so if you’re lucky. This means we all have some wisdom to share.
Of course, some life lessons are more of a process than a one-time thing. Sometimes we revisit a life lesson every so often, and gain a deeper understanding of it each time – so that after a number of years, we’ve developed a pretty nuanced view of it.
These life lessons that we’ve learned, are still working on, and are trying to learn are a key part of who we are. It’s important to share these with those closest to us. This can help us learn, teach, and also receive feedback – and learning and growing together is an incredible way to develop a friendship and relationship, and form deep and strong bonds.
Your Thoughts About the Unknown
Regardless of your beliefs about spirituality, or the existence of deities, life’s purpose, or the afterlife; there are major existential questions that no one really knows the answers to. It’s something we all have to wonder about.
Sharing and exploring such beliefs will help you both learn a lot about the other, and also ensure that you can perhaps even have different beliefs without feeling compelled to convert one another.
Your Most Important Values and Beliefs
These speak to the core of each of you, and who you are. During important as well as difficult times in your life, being aligned on your deepest values and beliefs will make a big difference in how you handle those together. This will also greatly shape how well both of you bond together, and even get along in times of great polarization.
Be sure to discuss this key subject early, and often.
Values and beliefs, as well as other subjects on this list, can be difficult to talk about. However, the rewards of doing so are well worth the efforts and initial discomforts.
People sometimes know each other – and even live side by side – for years without knowing these kind of big, deep things about one another – and this tends to make them grow apart, rather than together.
Besides, talking about the big, deep stuff can help you grow closer together than you ever imagined – and help you discover that you have more in common than you thought. You never know, until you try.
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Thank you, dear readers, for reading, following, and sharing. Here’s to asking the deep questions. If you enjoyed this and want to see more like it, please hit “like” and subscribe, if you have not already.
Check out my other blog, too – Free Range Life, at https://freerangelife.net. It’s about road trips to parks and other cool places to see, how wealth is built – and how policy shapes opportunities to build wealth, remote/passive income streams, and van/RV life.
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