By Rachel Puryear
We often hear about relationship “red flags” – early, often-subtle behaviors spell likely trouble later on. Certainly, such widespread warnings exist for good reason – to urge people to reexamine a possible toxic relationship, before more serious damage is done. Most people are familiar with, at the very least, the most common red flags to watch out for and avoid.
However, knowing what red flags to watch out for doesn’t always answer the question of what good things people should also be looking for in a relationship – especially for people working on breaking a cycle of frequent troubled relationships. Accordingly, here are some green flags for a relationship, which are things that one should watch for and pursue in others.
Relationship Green Flags:
Green Flag #1: They Make You Feel Safe, Heard, and Appreciated
Partners must be able to trust one another, and each share their thoughts and feelings without fear of rejection or judgment. They must be able to both listen, without frequent interruption or distraction.
Green Flag #2: They Follow Through on Promises and are Reliable
Partners need to be able to trust that when they promise each other they will be somewhere or do something, that they will follow through. They must be able to count on each other as dependable and responsible.
Green Flag #3: There are Clear and Realistic Expectations
Partners communicate what they want and need, so that you are both on the same page, and no one has to constantly guess what’s going on with the other. Their needs must also be compatible.
Green Flag #4: They are Able to Have a Respectful Disagreement
In every relationship, no matter how compatible and agreeable both partners are, there are bound to be occasional disagreements and differences of opinion over matters. However, it is important to be able to address such differences in a manner that is respectful and where each person feels heard (even if one or both partners needs some time to cool off first). Discussions can be had, and arguments can be resolved, with each person still feeling loved and respected afterwards.
Green Flag #5: There is a Willingness to Compromise
Building further on ability to have respectful disagreements, it is important that partners are also able to compromise where they are not able to reach a full agreement. Each person should give and take. Sometimes, circumstances might call for one person doing more giving than the other at certain times – however, the balance should be about even overall, over time.
Green Flag #6: They are Actively Working on Self-Growth
No one is perfect, no matter how wonderful they are on the whole. Accordingly, it is important for every person to work on self-growth. Working on self-growth reflects humility, and a willingness to identify and effectively address problems in life. Self-growth is a continual process, not a one-time event, and it is therefore appropriate to pursue it throughout one’s life.
Green Flag #7: They Respect Boundaries
As humans, we all have limits and needs. Accordingly, we all need boundaries. It is important that partners are able to mutually respect one another’s needs and feelings, and be considerate. This may give rise to a need to compromise at times, as also discussed above.
Green Flag #8: Their Words, Behaviors, and Actions All Align
Anyone can say the right things, but it’s essential that behaviors and actions also line up with one’s words. Doing and behaving in accordance with what one says makes one reliable, and reflects the great combination of integrity and self-awareness. Therefore, this quality is a great sign for any relationship.
Green Flag #9: They are Grateful, Appreciative, and Giving
Every person has some degree of good fortune and misfortune in life. Someone who can appreciate and be thankful for the good stuff are able to also recognize the best of their partners, and able to appreciate loved ones even during disagreements and tough times. This trait bodes well for the future of a relationship.
Green Flag #10: They are Empathetic, and Supportive During Both Good Times and Bad
The need for these qualities in a relationship are self-evident. Partners able to both bring such assets to the table are already well on their way to success together.
Green Flag #11: They are Honest and Transparent
Mutual trust is the foundation of any relationship, and honesty and transparency are necessary for building mutual trust over time.
Green Flag #12: They Apply the Same Standards to Themselves as to Others
People who live up to the same expectations they in turn have for others also recognize others’ equal worth and basic dignity. This is critical to a healthy relationship, and shows mutual respect for each partner. Partners who treat one another fairly and compassionately will remain closely connected in the long run.
Thank you, dear readers, for reading, following, and sharing. Here’s to finding, and recognizing, green flags in relationships. If you enjoyed this content and want to see more of it, please hit “like” and subscribe, if you do not do so already. xoxo