By Rachel Puryear
Givers are known for giving, and they generally do so because it makes them feel good. However, they do not like being taken advantage of, any more than anyone else does.
There is a big difference between giving, versus being taken from. Giving is something the giver freely chooses to do, and on their own terms. Takers take advantage of others, and on the taker’s terms.
Some takers might be attracted to givers, figuring that a giver will keep limitlessly providing the taker with whatever the taker wants. Unfortunately, this sometimes works for at least a while – as not all givers are good at asserting their own interests adequately, and many like to please at the expense of their own personal needs and interests. So in such instances, a one-sided relationship forms.
But eventually, the giver will get tired of the lack of reciprocity, and of constantly being drained – financially, emotionally, physically, and in all other ways. And the giver will usually, and hopefully, move on.
So what gives, the taker might ask (no pun intended)? If the giver likes giving so much, then why would they not stay for long in a relationship where they are expected to give constantly, and have so much demanded of them?
The difference is, there is a totally different feel to having something unwillingly taken from you on someone else’s terms, and where the taker does not also give back; versus freely giving on the giver’s terms, and where the giver also gets something valuable out of it, or at least knows that there is a willingness to give back.
Therefore, because someone is a giver, does not mean that they will be satisfied in a relationship with a taker. And ultimately, the giver will usually become quite miserable with the taker. The giver may endure it for a while – perhaps because they have not yet practiced setting enough boundaries, or because they want to believe that they can help the taker. But eventually, the giver will burn out and acknowledge that they are being used, and they will leave.
If you truly want to impress and take good care of a giver, then do something for them that they may very well not be used to – be a giver to them. No, this doesn’t mean you have to become their servant, which they probably would not go for anyway. But little things count a lot. Do little favors for them here and there, just to let them know that they are appreciated. Pay attention to them. Show them affection, genuine compliments, let them know how you feel about them. It doesn’t necessarily have to cost you anything.
If you truly have a giver with you, and you also reciprocate their giving nature, it will be something amazing. This relationship will be more than the sum of its parts – and more than either of you could create alone. Givers are people who are truly worth your investment of time, effort, and emotional energy.
Thanks for reading and sharing, dear readers. xoxo