By Rachel Puryear
In life, a very important social skill is the ability to acknowledge when one is wrong – as well as apologizing, and making proper amends, where appropriate.
This life skill is key to maintaining – and sometimes, to saving – important relationships.
At the same time, there are also things in life that some people will demand apologies and even shame for – but for which you need neither apologize, nor feel ashamed.
Here are some of the things in life for which you have no obligation to say, “I’m sorry”:
“No” is a complete sentence. It doesn’t necessarily have to be followed with an explanation, a negotiation, or an apology. You can say no to things you don’t want to do.
Having – and Enforcing – Boundaries
You can choose your boundaries with others based upon your needs and preferences.
You can limit interaction with people in your life who don’t respect your boundaries, too.
Feelings, Opinions, and Needs
You can feel what you feel, think what you think, and need what you need – no apologies necessary. Be yourself.
Distancing from Takers; and Toxic, Unsupportive People
You don’t have to keep people in your life when they use you and hurt you, or constantly take from you – but don’t give anything back in return.
Same thing if they aren’t there for you when you need them, and they don’t support you through good times and bad.
Success and Good Fortune
Some people look down on those less fortunate and successful than themselves – and that’s wrong. Interestingly, though, such people are also often jealous and resentful of those more successful than they are.
Someone jealous of your success may dismiss your hard work and your personal contributions to your good fortune, and feel that you owe them something – even when they didn’t help you at all to get there. They might want to tear you down, in order to make themselves feel better about not doing as well as you.
You don’t need to give in to these people, though – you owe them nothing, and you certainly don’t need to apologize for your achievements.
(“Success” can mean any kind of success and achievement – including, but not limited to; solid and supportive and loving relationships, a satisfying and/or lucrative career or other life pursuit, and anything else you achieved in life.)
Not Being Everything Your Culture/Religion/Community Says You Should Be
If you don’t fit in with the people around you, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you – it means they are not a good fit for you, and you’re not a good fit for them. That’s okay – it’s a big world, and there will be other people and places where you will belong, and find acceptance.
Listening to Your Intuition and Instincts
Sometimes you will have a strong sense of knowing important things, but you won’t know why – at least, not immediately, or maybe not ever. Nonetheless, a gut feeling can tell you things you need to know, that you might otherwise miss.
You don’t need to be sorry for listening to your intuition, or let people belittle or dismiss that – your instincts are trying to help you.
Resting, Taking Time for Yourself, Enjoying Yourself
In an age where being constantly busy and working long hours is viewed as a badge of honor, taking proper rest and leisure is seen by many as suspect – perhaps even a sign of laziness, and self-indulgence.
However, that’s pure nonsense – you need rest and leisure, and some time to enjoy your short stay here on planet Earth. Partake in the fun and fulfillment you can before you go to your grave.
Besides, as far as the things you really do need to get done go (probably not as much as you think), you’ll be more productive anyway with some regular breaks, and enjoyment of your life.
Living the Life You Want
You can choose a life on your terms, fulfilling your hopes and dreams. You don’t have to live the life others planned for you, even if they meant well.
You don’t have to let someone else live vicariously through you, either – your life is yours to live. You will never feel happy and fulfilled living a life that someone else chose for you.
Apologizing For Other People
If you’re apologizing for someone else often, that person needs to be making their own apologies instead – and accept whatever consequences may fall to them for their own actions, or inactions.
Besides, apologizing for them not only puts you in an undignified spot; but remember that even if you mean well, you’re also taking away someone else’s choice and autonomy about making their own apologies.
Be you – everyone else is already taken (said Oscar Wilde). You will never feel right, or attract the right kind of people and events and opportunities into your life; if you’re trying to be someone you’re not. You can only have a chance at those things if you’re being yourself – plus, it’s a lot more fun that way.
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Thank you, dear readers, for reading, following, and sharing. Here’s to being you, without apologies. If you enjoyed this content and want to see more of it, please hit “like” and subscribe, if you have not done so already. xoxo
Check out my other blog, too – Free Range Life, at https://freerangelife.net. It’s about road trips to parks and cool places to see, how wealth is built and lost, building remote/passive income, and van/RV life.
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