By Rachel Puryear
When it comes to all kinds of interpersonal relationships – be they romantic, friendships, familial, business, or otherwise – the difference between closeness with an emotionally mature person, versus an emotionally immature person; is profound, and like night and day.
Accordingly, it’s important to be able to spot signs of emotional maturity – or a lack thereof – in someone you might want to get closer to, and bring into your life more.
Of course, sometimes you don’t have a choice, in the case of family of origin members – but where you do have a choice, assessing one’s emotional maturity can be greatly helpful in choosing the right kind of people.
Furthermore, an emotionally mature person will rightfully want to be around other emotionally mature people, rather than immature ones, given a free choice. So in seeking out emotionally mature people, it is also critical to look honestly at one’s own level of emotional maturity, and put the same kind of effort into that that one desires to find in others.
Therefore, here are some signs of emotional maturity – or a lack thereof:
Empathy and Regard for Others
An emotionally mature person has well-developed empathy, and recognizes that others are as important as themselves. They acknowledge other people’s feelings, as well.
An emotionally immature person lacks empathy. They not only might not have much regard for others’ feelings, but they might not even consider for a moment that they are real. They may view others as simply an extension of themselves, with them being at the center of the universe.
Healthy Boundaries
Emotionally mature people set reasonable boundaries with others, and expect that others will also do the same. They understand that everyone has needs and limits, and they don’t begrudge that.
Emotionally immature people don’t respect other people’s boundaries, and maybe they don’t even honor their own. They might think that those who try to set limits with them are being selfish or unreasonable, and may try to push boundaries over others’ objections (or clear lack of willingness, even if it’s unspoken). If they’re self-centered enough, they might feel entitled to access others – and what others can offer them – all the time, and that others’ feelings about such don’t really matter.
A Healthy Humility
An emotionally mature person knows that the world is bigger than just themselves, and even bigger than all of us. That doesn’t mean they lack in self-regard, though, or don’t value what they have to contribute to the world – it just means that they recognize others’ value, too, and are able to put things into perspective.
An emotionally immature person doesn’t see beyond themselves, and it may not even occur to them that everyone else’s life and needs is as complicated, broad, and real as their own. Some of them might also devalue their own needs, making it difficult to fully connect with others.
More Curious Than Judgmental
If an emotionally mature person encounters someone who challenges their world view, they’ll be curious to know more. They know that they don’t know everything, and are willing to listen in order to better understand those different from them.
That doesn’t mean, of course, that they don’t still disagree with others sometimes, or that they don’t have strong core principles – they do. However, it means that they’re still curious about where others are coming from.
An emotionally immature person believes that only their worldview is valid, and that anyone who thinks or feels differently must be wrong – if not also a bad person. They’re not interested in understanding others, they’re interested in feeling superior to others, and also to maintaining control.
Strong Sense of Accountability
Emotionally mature people hold themselves accountable, and recognize that they are responsible for their own actions and feelings. They don’t expect other people to take up that responsibility, instead.
Emotionally immature people blame everyone but themselves, they lack a sense of accountability for their own behavior and needs, and they instead unfairly hold others responsible for them.
Emotional Control at a Healthy Level
Emotionally mature people have a healthy level of control over their emotions. That doesn’t mean they never have outbursts – everyone does sometimes. But they aren’t flying off the handle over little things all the time, and they can control their tempers most of the time.
Emotionally immature people may be ill tempered, and – intentionally or unintentionally – create a sense of dread in others around dealing with difficult subjects with them, knowing that they lack self-control. Alternately, they may be so dissociated all the time that they have seriously underdeveloped their own emotional intelligence, and lack a lot of self-awareness.
Of course, if you grew up in a family full of emotionally immature people, then you likely will tend to seek out a similar dynamic in your adult relationships and friendships – and probably subconsciously. That is, until you learn to recognize the signs, heal from your upbringing, and look for more emotionally mature people instead.
Thank you, dear readers, for reading, following, and sharing. Here’s to better emotional maturity. If you enjoyed this post, please “like” and subscribe, if you have not already.
Check out my other blog, too – Free Range Life, at https://freerangelife.net.
Note: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. As an Amazon associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. We appreciate your support!
World Class Hugs 
Leave a comment